Question

MARIO⛑💕

英検2級のwritingです。
Q. Some people say that Japanese companies should make their workers take English lessons. Do you agree with this idea?

A. I agree with Japanese companies should make their workers take English lessons. I have two reasons. First of all, English is the most popular language in the world. If you can not speak English, when you have to work with foreigners, you may not be able to do good communication with them, Second, in Japan, the English skill are needed on many company or university. Without them, you may not understand the English classes at university. It is for these reasons that I agree with Japanese companies should make their workers take English lessons.

字数は間に合ってますが、どうでしょうか？何割くらい入ると思いますか？

Answer 1

K

同じ言い回しを何度も使うのは違和感を感じてしまいます。あくまで私の感覚ですが、、、。
ですので、最後の一文の後半の

Japanese companies 〜の部分を何か他の形を使って書き換えると少しすっきりする気がします。

It is necessary 〜とか、need to 〜とか
色々あるのでやってみてください！