Question

おはま

Do you think the advantages of online education outweigh the disadvantages？

I think the advantages of online education outweigh the disadvantages. It is true that some people disagree with this idea. They say that students cannot have face-to-face communication with classmates and teachers. However, online education has positive effects on society.

First, it is not necessary for students to go to school, so they can save time. Therefore, online education allows them to make use of their spare time effectively. Students are very busy with tasks such as doing homework, so it is more and more important to use time efficiently.

Second, online education is one of the best ways for students to improve their grades. This is because Students can study at their own pace and schedule. Studying at their own pace allows them to focus on difficult topics.

For these two reasons, I agree with this idea in terms of time and grades.

添削して頂きたいです！最初の主張の部分が長いのですが、根拠のほうに語数を持ってきたほうがいいのかも悩んでいるので教えて欲しいです_ _))

英作文

Answer 1

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ジンくん

まず　文法チェックしました。以下のは訂正後でーす！！
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I believe the advantages of online education outweigh the disadvantages. Some people argue that students cannot have face-to-face communication with classmates and teachers. However, online education has positive effects on society.

First, it is not necessary for students to go to school, so they can save time. Therefore, online education allows them to make use of their spare time effectively. Students are very busy with tasks such as homework, so it is increasingly important to use time efficiently.

Second, online education is one of the best ways for students to improve their grades. This is because students can study at their own pace and schedule. Studying at their own pace allows them to focus on difficult topics.

For these two reasons, I agree that online education is advantageous in terms of time and grades.

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ジンくん

まず、最初の主張の部分が長いという点についてですが、確かに導入部分を短くして根拠の方に語数を持っていく方が良いかもしれません。以下のように書き直してみました：

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I believe the advantages of online education outweigh the disadvantages. Some people argue that students cannot have face-to-face communication with classmates and teachers, but I think online education has a positive impact on society for two main reasons: time efficiency and improved grades.

First, online education saves students time since they don't need to go to school. This allows them to use their spare time more effectively. As students are busy with tasks such as homework, it becomes increasingly important to manage time efficiently.

Second, online education helps students improve their grades. They can study at their own pace and schedule, which lets them focus more on difficult topics.

For these two reasons, I agree that online education is advantageous in terms of time and academic performance.

やけど僕なら下みたいに書くよ

You know, some people say online education isn’t great because you don’t get to see your friends or teachers in person. But honestly, I think it has way more upsides than downsides.

First off, you don’t have to waste time commuting to school. That means more time to do other things, like catching up on homework or even just relaxing a bit. Let’s be real—students are always super busy, so saving time is a huge win.

Second, online learning lets you study at your own pace. If something’s really tough, you can take your time and go over it as many times as you need. No need to rush or feel like you’re falling behind. In the end, that helps you get better grades.

So yeah, that’s why I think online education is pretty awesome. More free time, better grades—what’s not to love?