Question

🐱 ※プロフィール見て欲しいです🙇‍♀️

英検の英作文添削をお願いします。
1行5語に合わせたり、削ったりしているので、段落や空間等は気にせずに添削をして頂きたいです。

I don't think scare people's
salaries should be based on
their job performance. I have
two reasons. In the first
place, It should be changed
from their performance to age.
As they get older, many
people will have their family,
so they need a lot.
of
money. If their salavies
base on age, they can
live in peace. In the
Second place, some people don't
have the skills. For example,
people who have disability may
not have enough skills. If
their salaries be based on r
their age, they can't get
enough money. Last of all
I think people's salaries had
better be based on their age.
It has a lot of
benefit than being based on
their job performance. Mary
people can live in peace

.Write an essay on the given TOPIC.
• Structure: introduction, main body, and conclusion
Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer.
• Write your essay in the space provided on Side B of your
Suggested length: 120-150 words
wwriting outside the space will not be graded.
answer sheet.
●
●
●
●
TOPIC
Should people's salaries be based on their job performance?
Any
POINTS
• Age
Company profits Clo
• Motivation
Go fishin
E4M
Skills
aasvinb 15900l on SH I
bonisqen gnied ai ai S
2. One oftlospas
2
lapidsen ailel
varl of asalil all S
son ai all &
DI VIDW ảnh l
arom vo
bailileup s
yabrsizsy 19genem sai liss of jogol sH S
bibruso natho TI
bib pigenipidly
cedr bazkim SHA
theq
ob dotem toa 250b il S
22年度第1回
S.OM
€.oM