Question

き

九大英語2022大問5の添削をお願いします🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️
グラフについての英作文です。

(5) Read the instructions and write your answer in English. (30 points)
The graph below shows changes in the number of global UFO sightings
recorded from 1990 to 2020:
10,000
8,000
¥6,000
¥4,000
2,000円
319
1990
92
2000
98
20
8 sqmod
2010
08
21
28,736
2022 九州大学
7,26778
RONTASSENPI
obolksad & eworle rar sig i
Isra berl A vasqmo IngA al
bagasi ni birb bodas yragmo?
91
im bnooo; basie & neqigo
er bris
2020
18
Itsed) *
10-0750
Using about 75 English words, describe the trends in UFO sightings between
1990 and 2020.
OS ovods ar A yoqme
to sisde todemon
esgs 06-01 mi s38 odwongan alam si ei stunts oig airls to neg regned on.
Note: Words that express a number, such as 319 or 1990, are counted as one
JI6q legisl
eggs 02-06 i alem
the word.
m 2510 M

2020.
This graph shows the number of UFO sighting from 1990 to
The number was increasing steadily from 1990 to
2014. And the number peaked at 8736 in 2014. This
number was about 27 times as many as 319 in 1990.
However, the number
2018.
declined drastically from 2014 to
the number increased
twice
as many as
in
Also, from 2018 to 2020
the number
2
was.
again. In 2020
2018.
70.
1

添削 九大 英語 英作文 グラフ 大学受験

Answer 1

✨ ベストアンサー ✨

zmic

👍 Your text is well written. There are only a few issues.

✖ This graph shows the number of UFO sighting from 1990 to 2020.
👉 sighting is a countable noun
👉 number of <countable noun in the plural>
✅ This graph shows the number of UFO sightings from 1990 to 2020.

✅ The number was increasing steadily from 1990 to 2014.
👉 The perfect past is OK, but not really necessary. You are describing a sequence of events.
✅ The number increased steadily from 1990 to 2014.
△ And the number peaked at 8736 in 2014.
👉 It is bad style to start an English sentence with "And"
✅ The number increased steadily from 1990 to 2014. It peaked at 8736 in 2014.
✅ The number increased steadily from 1990 to 2014, and it peaked at 8736 in 2014.
✅ The number increased steadily from 1990 to 2014 before it peaked at 8736 in 2014.
✅✅ The number increased steadily from 1990 to 2014, peaking at 8736 in 2014.

✖ This number was about 27 times as many as 319 in 1990.
△ This number was about 27 times as many as the 319 in 1990.
✅ This number was about 27 times as high as the 319 sightings in 1990
✅ This number was about 27 times higher than the 319 sightings in 1990
✅ This number was about 27 times higher than the 319 sightings reported/recorded in 1990

✅ However, the number declined drastically from 2014 to 2018.

△ Also, from 2018 to 2020 the number increased again.
👉 "Also" doesn't sound right here, because you are describing a linear progression of events.
✅ From 2018 to 2020 the number increased again.
✅ Then, from 2018 to 2020 the number increased again.
✅ But then, from 2018 to 2020 the number increased again.

△ In 2020, the number was twice as many as in 2018.
✅ In 2020, the number was twice as high as in 2018.
✅ In 2020, the number was about twice as high as in 2018.

✅ Then, from 2018 to 2020 the number increased again, finally returning to the level of 2015.
✅ Then, from 2018 to 2020 the number increased again, but without reaching/surpassing the peak/level of 2014.

✅ I hope this is helpful!

き

Thank you for your easy to understand explanation‼️‼️🥹