✅ I think that high school students in Japan should go to a foreign country on a school trip.
🟠 The city I recommend for their school trip is Italy.
✅ The country I recommend for their school trip is Italy.
✅ I recommend it for two reasons.
✅ Firstly, Italy has the largest number of World Heritage sites.
✖ For example, Colosseum where wild animals were hunted
👉 For buildings and monuments use "the"
✅ I went to Rome and I visited the Vatican Museum, the Colosseum and the Borghese Gallery.
✅ For example, the Colosseum where wild animals were hunted and the Domenico monastery displaying the Last Supper, and so on.
✖ Secondly, there are many unique cultures.
✅ Secondly, there are many unique cultural events.
🟠 One of them is (the) Venice Carnival. The festival where people wear luxurious costumes.
✅ One of them is (the) Venice Carnival, the festival where people wear luxurious costumes.
✅ One of them is (the) Venice Carnival. This is the festival where people wear luxurious costumes.
👉 There exist other festivals where people wear luxurious costumes.
✅ One of them is (the) Venice Carnival. This is the famous festival where people wear luxurious costumes.
✖ Others Chrismas is a famous event
✅ Christmas is another famous event
✅ Christmas is another famous event, where the whole family gathers together to eat and exchange gifts.
✖🟠 In conclusion, I think that they should go to foreign country on a school trip
🟠 In conclusion, I think that they should go to a foreign country on a school trip
👉 they -> the whole family ???
✅ In conclusion, I think that Japanese students should go to a foreign country on a school trip
✖ ... better than domestic.
✅ I think that Japanese students should go on a school trip to a foreign country rather than a domestic one.
✅ I think that a school trip to a foreign country is better than a domestic one.
👉 You explained that Italy is wonderful, but you didn't explain why it is better than having a school trip in Japan.
