英検準二級ライティングの添削をお願いします🙏

Question

zmic · Accepted Answer

✅ I think that people should live with their elderly parents.
✅ I have two reasons.
✅ First, we can take care of them.

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❌ we live other place
✅ we live somewhere else
✅ we live elsewhere

❌ theirselves
✅ themselves

✅ If we live elsewhere, they can't live easily by themselves.
✅ If we live elsewhere, they will have problems living by themselves.
✅ If we live elsewhere, they have to live by themselves. This is not easy for elderly people.

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👉 "fun" is a noun.
❌ is very fun
✅ is a lot of fun
✅ is very enjoyable
✅ Second, living with elderly parents is very enjoyable.
🤔 (it's not always enjoyable)
✅✅ Second, living with elderly parents can be very enjoyable

✅ we can play games with them anytime

✅🟠 Second, living with elderly parents can be very enjoyable, we can play games with them anytime.
✅ Second, living with elderly parents can be very enjoyable because we can play games with them anytime.
✅ Second, living with elderly parents can be very enjoyable. We we can play games with them anytime.
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✅🟠🟠 For these reasons, I think living with their elderly parents is better.

✅ I think <short sentence>.
✅🟠 I think <long sentence>.
✅ I think that <long sentence>.

✅🟠 For these reasons, I think that living with their elderly parents is better.

➤ I think that PEOPLE ...... WE can take care ..... WE live elsewhere ..... WE can play games.... ➤ OUR
✅✅ For these reasons, I think that living with our elderly parents is better.

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👍 Keep up the good work! 👍