Question

ことね

とても拙い英文で申し訳ないのですが、ピンクの斜め線の部分はどう直したら良くなるでしょうか？
タイトルは　rush hourの交通渋滞をどう減らすか　というものです
2枚目が模範解答です
お願いします🙇‍♀️

Pok=
3 エッセイライティング
bicycle
such as
instead
bicycle
The
I think that
of traffic jams on
first
The
Traffic
cars
of vehicles
is effective
keep
To
is good way
thing
second
is
the
by companies. Most people's going
the problems of
avoid
rush hour
flexible working hours
Finally, the
jams
lot trattIC
the
thing
jams
taxies. Thus
Traffic
two things
roads
is
and
The
en
the
jums.
reduce
thing s
can
during rush
vise
be done
the
the rise
Lands
of
ham e
hour,
introducing
to
their health
people's
result.
of people's
by people's
reduce
2
during
flexible
rush
the problem
using
from
their
viding vehicles
using their bicycle
realizing
that
working hours
may lead
hour
Thus
mare
and
more people
can
traffic jams by the company's introducing
can lead to reduce the problems.

権を維持
スワーリ
な、アラ
事奉
3 エッセイライティング ( 10点)
I think it is effective to encourage commuters not to use cars.
If they commute by train, bus, bicycle, or on foot, there will be less cars on the road during rush hour.
Moreover, it will be good for the environment, because cars emit carbon dioxide.
To realize it, it is necessary to improve the infrastructure of the city. For example, we will need more trains
or buses, and we'll also need more bicycles lanes for bicycle commuters.
In this way, I think it is possible to reduce the problem of traffic jams on the roads during rush hour.