英検二級がどれくらいの基準なのか知りませんが、こんなもんだと思います。
添削後
Nowadays, Japan imports a lot of food from overseas. It has benefits, such as being able to eat many kinds of food all year round and getting rare food which can’t be grown in Japan. However, it also has some problems. For example, transportation to Japan may produce carbon emissions, which damage the environment. Also, we have to worry about whether the food is fresh and safe.
ポイント解説
①benifits → benefits：これはスペルミス。
②eating many kinds of food all Year → being able to eat many kinds of food all year round：「年中いろんな食べ物が食べられる」は “being able to eat … all year round” が自然です。
③which can’t grew → which can’t be grown：「grow」は他動詞で「育てられる」＝受け身が必要。
④transporation → transportation：スペルミス。
⑤It damaged environment → which damage the environment：「It」は何を指すかわかりにくいし、現在の問題なので時制も現在形が良い。
⑥worry that the food is fresh and safe → worry about whether the food is fresh and safe：「〜かどうか」は whether が自然。
