Question

ひな

英検準2級writingです。
添削お願い致します。

21.3
Q Do you
think there should be more sports programs
on TV?
I think there should be more sports programs
on TV.
I have two reasons.
First, you enjoy watching sports programs.
Everyone makes it smile..
10
30
Second, you can know sports rule.
"Therefore, when you play sports, you are fun.
For there reasons,
I belive there should be more sports programs on TV. 51
38

英検 英検準2級 writing

Answer 1

zmic

🟠 First, you enjoy watching sports programs.
🤔 How do you know that "I" enjoy sports programs? Maybe I don't like sports programs...
❗ use "you" ONLY for a universal fact / general truth.
✅ When you go a library, you can read books. <--- always true
✅ When you watch TV, you can watch movies. <--- always true
🟠 When you watch TV, you watch movies. <--- maybe "I" don't like movies
________________________________________________________________

🟠 First, you enjoy watching sports programs.
✅ First, people enjoy watching sports programs.
✅✅ First, many people enjoy watching sports programs.

________________________________________________________________

❌❌ Everyone makes it smile.
✅ S-V-O
❌ It makes everyone smile.
✅ sports programs -> they
🟠 They make everyone smile. <--- some people never smile
✅ They provide a lot of fun.
✅ They provide a lot of entertainment.
________________________________________________________________

🟠 Second, you can know sports rule.
✅ Second, you can learn about sports rules.
________________________________________________________________

🟠 Therefore, when you play sports, you are fun.
❓ I'm not sure what you want to say here.
✅ As a result, you can become a better player yourself.
✅ This can help you (to) become a better player yourself.
______________________________________________________________

❌ For there reasons, ...
✅ For these reasons, ...
❌ I belive
______________________________________________________________

参考になれば嬉しいです
✅ I hope this is helpful!