Question

ひな

至急！！
英検二級のライティングをどなたか添削して頂けないでしょうか！どうかお願いします！また、この文だと何割ぐらい取れそうかも教えて頂けると嬉しいです🙇

補足　×This essay will have
→ ⚪︎This essay will explain

　　　×They may go to there
→ ⚪︎They may go there

TOPIC
Today in Japan, many buildings and public areas have a lot of lights
for decoration, such as the lights used during Christmas. Do you
think this is a good idea?
POINTS
• Safety
• The environment
• Tourism

I think it is a good idea.This essay will
have two main reasons for my
argument in terms of safty and
tourism. First, it lead to people's
safty.Ligts make it possible for more
people relax and protect from climes
because people are able to see each
other. Second, buldings that have
many lights have a beneficial effect on
tourism. For instance, such buldings
are natullary gather people that
regard less country. Everyone should
go to clear place, no dark one.
Foreigner see such beautiful buildings
, they may go to there again to see
them. For the reasons mentioned
above, I think it is a nice idea.
現在の単語数:102語

英検二級 ライティング

Answer 1

omochi

添削しました。
スペリングのミスを無くせば、
文章構成は上手なのでより良くなると思います。
何割かはわかりませんが、
内容3 構成3 語彙2 文法3 で
7割くらいだと思います。

念のため伝えておきます
First, Second, For these reasons
の前に改行するのを忘れないでください！