Question

ちぇよよん

授業でshow&tellというものがあり、自分のお気に入りのものについてスピーチします。原稿を書いたので添削してもらいたいです！

Hello everyone.

ll tell you about my fqvorite book.
Look at this.

This is Harry Potter.

This book wos written by J. K. Rowling.

Harry Potter is very famous qll over the
world.

So,I think everyone knows this series.

lread this book when | was nine years old
for the first time.

Then | have been hooked on Harry Potter.
1Ihave two reasons 『m hooked them.

FirstHarry fights at the risk of his life to
defeat the enemy.

lflam in his situation.| cant do that.

Ithink he has q lot of courage.

Second,the world of this story is
extraqordindary.

So, there qre many things in this story 「m
excited.

For these reqsons 「m hooked this series
qnd | read them many times.

Of course | have watched the movie too,
but the book is more detail than the
movie.

1wgant to read this in the original.

So, | study English harder for them.

Thank you for listening.

Answer 1

Lemon 🍋

僕からは形容詞の使い方についてひとつだけ言っておきます。
日本語でも同じような感じがしますが、形容詞(このスピーチの場合だとextraordinary や excitedなど)を使った後は、それがどんな風に感じたのかを少し具体的に説明した方が英語としてはナチュラルに感じます。余力があれば文章を付け足したりしてみてください。

ちぇよよん

そうなんですね、分かりました！ありがとうございます！！

Answer 2

krp

充分だと思います！

文章構造もきれいで、読みやすかったです

ちぇよよん

ありがとうございます！