Question

みかん

英検2級の問題です。
添削して欲しいです🙇‍♀️

ライティング(英作文)
●以下の TOPIC について,あなたの意見とその理由を2つ書きなさい。
●POINTSは理由を書く際のでもしていてを示したものです。ただし、これら
5
●語数の目安は80語~100語です。
●解答は,解答用紙のB面にある英作文解答欄に書きなさい。 なお、解答欄の外
に書かれたものは採点されません。
●解答が TOPIC に示された問いの答えになっていない場合や, TOPIC からずれ
ていると判断された場合は, 0点と採点されることがあります。 TOPIC の内容
TOPIC
をよく読んでから答えてください。
In Japan, some people say that famous tourist sites, such as castles
and temples, should limit the number of visitors. Do you agree with
this opinion?
POINTS
● Cleanliness
● Local economies
●Reputation
ainshine

It is said that famous tourist sites, bid
such as castles and temples, should limit
the number of visitors.
I agree with this opinion.
Sibute ViaNt NT
First, It keeps people safe.
to Y
ow what
This is because
Some visitors
don't
follow the role.
Second,
It is
This is because
02/0
2x None
good for the envioron ment
Some visitors throw away trush on the road.
Aib 21
For
these reasons
I
such
the
do
that I mentioned,
believe that famous tourist sites,
as
castles and temples, should limit
number of
visitors.

Answer 1

taka

ほとんど間違いのない内容になっていると感じます。それだけに、細かいミスが目立ちます。
少しの訂正だけですが、参考にしてください。
It is said that famous tourist sites, such as castles and temples, should limit the number of visitors. → 〇
I agree with this opinion. 〇 → ◎ I agree with this opinion for two reasons.
First, It keeps people safe. △(It→it) → First, limiting the number of visitors keeps people safe.
This is because some visitors don’t follow the [role]. → This is because some visitors don’t follow the [rules].
Second, [It] is good for the environment. → Second, [it] is good for the environment.
This is because some visitors throw away [trush] on the road. → This is because some visitors throw away [trash] on the road.
For these reasons that I mentioned, I believe that famous tourist sites, such as castles and temples, should limit number of visitors. → For these reasons that I mentioned, I believe that famous tourist sites, such as castles and temples, should limit [the] number of visitors.
【別解答】
It is often said that popular tourist destinations, such as castles and temples, should limit the number of visitors. I agree with this idea for the following two reasons.
Firstly, doing so can help ensure the safety of all visitors. When too many people gather in one place, accidents are more likely to occur, especially if some do not follow the rules.
Secondly, limiting the number of visitors is beneficial for protecting the environment. Unfortunately, some tourists leave litter behind or damage cultural sites, which can negatively affect the beauty and cleanliness of these important places.
For these reasons, I believe it is necessary to control the number of people who visit famous tourist sites in order to preserve them for future generations.