✨ ベストアンサー ✨
Your text is very well written and the usage of articles is excellent. 👍
△ I would revise a robot to be able to watch over them.
👉 "revise" means to make changes to an existing design.
✅ I would design a robot to be able to watch over them.
✅ I would develop a robot to be able to watch over them.
✅ I would design a robot that is able to watch over them.
✅ For example, if the robot detects that they might not be well,
△ the robot can call their family immediately to notice this situation.
👉 the robot has already noticed the situation. to notice ~ to detect
✅ the robot can call their family immediately to notify them of this situation.
✅ The reason why I came up with this idea is that
✖ I think older people who stay home alone would be increasing in the future
✖ people increase/decrease
✅ the number of people increases/decreases
✖ I think that .. would ..
✅ I think that .. will ..
✅ I thought that .. would ..
✅ I think the number of older people who stay home alone will be increasing in the future
✅ I think the number of older people staying home alone will be increasing in the future
✅ I think the number of older people staying home alone will increase in the future
✖ because of such as population aging and the death of a spouse.
✅ because of such things as population aging and the death of a spouse.
👉 death == 死. It can sound a bit blunt.
✅ because of such things as population aging and the loss of a spouse.
👉 In such a long sentence it's good to put at least one comma.
✅ The reason why I came up with this idea is that I think the number of older people staying home alone will increase in the future, because of such things as population aging and the loss of a spouse.
ありがとうございます🙏🙏
とても分かりやすかったです！