Question

とっちゃん

添削をお願いします

●Write an essay on the given TOPIC.
●Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer.
●Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion
●Suggested length: 120-150 words

TOPIC
Agree or disagree:
Advancements in science and technology have made our lives better

POINTS
Environment
Democracy
Weapons
Efficiency

I don't agree with the opinion that advancements in science and technology have made our lives better for the following two reasons.
The first reason is that they caused to destroy the habitat of animals.
In these days we often hear that a lot of creatures might be extinct.
It is not good for us to decay the environment. we need to insist that science can be harmful not only to animals but also to people.
The second reason is that there is a risk of creating dangerous weapons. Up to the present date, we have developed many perilous things such as gunshots and dynamite. Then, we must not forget that they have killed many people.
that is why I think advancements in science and technology
intimidate our lives.