Question

mina

明日やる英語の行きたい所のスピーチです！
長くなってしまったのでカットできる所や
言い換えられる所、おかしい所の
アドバイスを頂きたいです！
↓↓↓

Hello everyone. I am〇〇〇〇.
I want to visit London. I have 3reasons.

First, I want to visit Tower・bridge.
Looking at Tower Bridge at night is very beautiful.
So i want to go see it at night.

Second, I want to ride a big Ferris wheel.
Its name is the London Eye.
The highest point of it is 135m.
I want to ride it and overlook the city of London.

Third, I want to eat cupcakes in London.
There are many delicious cupcake shops in London.
I want to go eat it with my friends and family.

IN Conclusion I want to visit London.
Please come and visit us.
Thank you for listening.

英語 スピーチ

Answer 1

lv0043

I want to が多用されているので減らしてみました。
# Please come and visit us. は visit us ですか？
# この短いスピーチに、IN Conclusion I want to visit London. は要らないと思います

Hello everyone, I'm xxxxx.
I want to visit London for three reasons.
The first reason is to see Tower Bridge at night. It's so beautiful.
The second is to ride big ferris wheel called the London Eye.
I want to overlook the city of London from 135 meters high.
The third is to eat delicious cupcakes. There are many cupcake shops in London.
I want to eat it with my friends and family.
Thank you for listening.