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英語 高校生

英検一級のライティングの添削をお願いしたいです。 Should the Japanese government encourage more immigration? というトピックで書きました。よろしくお願いします。

The Japanese government should encourage more immigration Problems such as lack of diversity, Japanese companies retreating from the world declining birth rate 39 there is a because market, and aging population with a can be solved by increasing immigration. Japan, although it is one of the advanced countries, lack of diversity. Except of big cities like Tokyo, there are only few foreigners. I think this is a set back to Japan while other countries are stepping foward by changing its own system, Japan is refusing to make a change to its old style, and I believe this is because Japan doesn't have abundant. perspectives. foreign countries to. By encouraging more immigration, they can provide many different views and stimulate Jahanese people. as of what does other countries. a image Japanese companies are retreating from the world market. Many Companies in Japan are producing overeng ineered expensive products that only targets Japanese customers and it is losing its power in other countries : If Japan accepts more immigrants Japanese companies. will be able to get detailed regire to their product and stay in the world market. Aging population and a declining birth rate is a huge problem in Japan right now. Because of it, companies are losing workers and young people will have to saffer with a lot of taxes in the future. Encouraging immigration can increase population and solve. these problems more By encouraging more immigrations, many problems that Japan is facing can be solved.

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