Question

mint

以下の英作文の添削をしていただきたいです｡2022年度岡山大学の問題です｡
また､書く内容を考える時のコツなどあったら教えていただけるとありがたいです｡
よろしくお願いします🙇‍♀

16 2022年度 英語
問4 次の英文を読んで, 指示に従って英語で答えなさい。
岡山大-理系前期
Imagine that you had a time machine. You could go back in time or into
the future. Which would you choose? Describe the world around you and what
kinds of things you would want to do while you are there. Explain both positive
and negative aspects of how life would be different from today. Write your ideas
in about 10 lines in English.

If I had a time machine, I would go back in time,
especially Edo period. This is because that Edo period
was one
of the most peaceful periods in the past. If I would go back
in time or into the future
(
I would not be able to adopt the
world soon, so I want to go to as safety place as possible. There..
were no wars in Edo period in Japan, and Japan was independent from the world,
called "Salobu", so it was safe. However, in this period, people were poor
and
there were no
machine.
, so I would feel uncomfortable and inconvenient.
Even so, I want to know the real life and culture of people who lived
in Edo period.

英作文

Answer 1

✨ ベストアンサー ✨

シャー

赤字が訂正，青字が「間違いじゃないけど，こうするとさらに良い」という色分けです。
no warsやindependentなど，じゃっかん言い過ぎに感じた部分は青字で書き換え候補を提示しました。

書く内容を考える際のコツですが，独創的なアイデアよりも英作文全体の流れを意識することでしょうか。平凡なアイデアだとしても，キレイに論理が通っていれば，それなりの得点をもらえるはずです。今回の英作文では内容面に関して，とくに問題は見当たらないので，この調子で頑張ってください。

zmic

Please note for most historical periods you must use "the".

→ the Edo period.
I would go back in time, especially to the Edo period.
This is because the Edo period was...
during the Edo period
the people who lived in the Edo period.

Also, "I feel inconvenient" is not really said in English.
→ I would feel uncomfortable and inconvenienced.
→ The lack of modern machines would be inconvenient

mint

返信大変遅くなってしまいすみません｡お二方とも､丁寧に添削してくださってありがとうございました!!本番自分なりの英作文が書けて､無事に合格することができました｡本当にありがとうございました🙇‍♀