Question

ことね

添削お願いします🙇‍♀️

以下に示した表 (table) は Institute of
International Education が実施したアメリカへの
留学生の数に関する調査結果です。 この表につい
て、2008年と2009年を比較し、以下の①~④の4
つのポイントと具体的な数値を盛り込んで、90語
程度の英語でまとまりのある説明文を書きなさ
い。数値は1語として数え、コンマやピリオドは語
数に含めません。 解答欄の最初の()に語数を記入
しなさい。
① この表が示しているもの
② 留学生の総数の変化
③ 中国からの留学生の傾向
④ 日本からの留学生の傾向
Rank Place of Origin
1
China
India
South Korea
Canada
Taiwan
Japan
2
3
4
5
6
25
Russia
2008
98,235
103,260
75,065
29,697
28,065
29,264
TOTAL
4,908
671,616
2009
127,628
104,897
72,153
28,145
26,685
24,842
4,827
690,923
Source: Institute of International Education, Opendoors ® 2010 fast facts
Change
29.9%
1.6%
-3.9%
-5.2%
-4.9%
-15.1%
-1.7%
2.9%

This
table shers results of
a
ih
of
study that Institute
in 2009. It was
dood and
Internation Education conducted
about
the number
number of international students to USA by country. The
total number of international students increased from 671.616 to
690, 123
the rate of changer
was 2.9%
The number
Gras
of chinese international students
second place following that
of Indian
in 2008 but the rate of changer in China was
29.1%, and the number of Chinese increased to (27, 638 and
become first place in 2009. Meonubile, about 4000 Japanese
international students
decreased and
Japan ranked from tith to
6th:
99 words

Answer 1

✨ ベストアンサー ✨

zmic

This type of exercise is hard even for native speakers, but you did well!

❌ This table shows results of a study that Institute of International Education conducted in 2008 and in 2009
👉 for names of institutions, use "the"
✅ This table shows results of a study that the Institute of International Education conducted in 2008 and (in) 2009.

❌ It was about the number of international students to USA by country.
❌ students to
✅ the USA
✅ It was about the number of international students in the USA, ranked by country.
✅ The study examined the number of international students in the USA, ranked by country.

✅ The total number of international students increased from xxx to yyy
△ , the rate of change was z%.
✅ , being a rate of change of z%.
✅ , which was an increase of z%.
✅ Between 2008 and 2009, the total number of international students rose from xxx to yyy, which was an increase of z%.

△ The number of Chinese international students was second place following that of Indian in 2008,
👉 for a long sentence, it's better to put the year in front, for clarity.
✅ In 2008, the number of Chinese international students...
△ In 2008, the number of Chinese international students was second place following that of Indian
✅ In 2008, the number of Chinese international students ranked second, following that of Indian students
✅ In 2008, India had the highest number of international students in the USA, closely followed by China.
✅ In 2008, China was in second place, with India being first

✅ but the rate of change in China was x%,
△ and the number of Chinese increased to yyy and became first place in 2009.
✅ and the number of Chinese students increased to yyy, taking first place in 2009.

❌ Meanwhile, about 4000 Japanese international students decreased
✅ Meanwhile, the number of Japanese international students decreased by about 4000,

❌ and Japan ranked from 5th to 6th.
✅ and Japan moved from 5th to 6th place.
✅ and Japan dropped from 5th to 6th place.

👉 the best way to become better at writing English is reading English books.
✅ I hope this helps!

zmic

👉 it's less work for me if you type your essay.

ことね

十分すぎますありがとうございます😊