Yes, I do. 〇
I have two reasons for this topic. ⇒ this topic(話題) → my opinion(意見)
First, It is good for them to own companies. ⇒ First, it is good for them to start their own companies.
To own companies is independent from their parents. ⇒ To own companies means being independent from their parents.
※〇Ken(人) is independent from his parents.
Second, they could enhance themselves by to own companies.
⇒ Second, they could enhance their abilities by running companies.
※✕by(前置詞)＋to ～(不定詞) 〇by(前置詞)＋～ing(動名詞) own(…を所有する)を何度も使わないように別の動詞を使う
For example, they lead to other people in company as a president.
⇒ For example, they lead other people in the company as (the) president.
※lead to … …に通じる／lead 人 人を率いる、人を指導する president(役職)：定冠詞theを付けるか、何も付けない
Recently, we face to difficult things to join the work by CORVID 19.
⇒ Today, many of us have difficulty getting a job because of CORVID 19.
今日、私達の多くはコロナウイルスのために就職するのに苦労している。
※face to … …の方向を向いている face … …に直面する recently(最近)：現在完了形と一緒に使う
have difficulty (in) ～ing ～するのに苦労する
We must think how we could do something for the world. ⇒ We must think how we could do something good for the world, and starting our own companies is one of things we young people can do.
どのようにして世の中のための何か良いことができるのかを考えなければならなく、そして起業することは私達若者ができることの一つである。
語数の規定は80～100なので、語数(72)が少し不足しています。
それも考慮して、改善を加えてみました。
参考にしてください。
