Question

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英検準一の英作文です。
添削お願いしたいです。字が汚くて文法なども間違い多いと思うんですがお願いします🙇‍♀️

重要
解答時間 25分
(解答・解説 P.200 ~2011
(3)
Write an essay on the given TOPIC.
Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer.
Structure: introduction, main body, and conclusion
Suggested length: 120-150 words
TOPIC
Agree or disagree: Personal finance should be taught in school
POINTS
Risk of debt
Balance of classes
Financial responsibility
●Learning at home

disagree with personal finance
I
There
are
two reasons
First of all, Personal
to
Support
should
be taught in school,
my opinion.
finance might be danger, for students.
but they
try it
do not
lead to
invest
and
still have
risk of debt.
on
other classes.
knowlege to do it. So, to invest
They learn how
to
enough
Second
Balance
of all,
new
class
has
effect
of classes misht become unstable and teacher's work increase.
work has been incensed
the number of
Recently, teacher's
teacher
has been decreased.
According to the
reasons
finance should not
stated
and
above, I think that personal
be taught in school.