I believe that using smartphones at school has its pros and cons. We should see things at the bright and dark sides at the same time.
To most teachers and parents, using smartphones at school isn’t a good idea. Students may compare their phone’s brand and mock at their classmates whose smartphone is cheaper than theirs. Additionally, students may addict to the smartphones and surf the nets all the time which may distract themselves in the class. However, it doesn’t mean that using smartphones at school always has its dark sides. Smartphones can be an excellent learning partner if we use them properly. For instance, students can take notes in the class more efficiently by using smartphones. Furthermore, we can take photos with smartphones to record our life.
Due to the convenience of smartphones, people are more counting on them. We should learn that smartphones themselves are neutral and that their benefits and drawbacks are depending on how we use them.
小建議：
1. 第一段和第三段的論點有點重複，可以想一下其他破題方式，或是直接將一般家長和老師對在學校使用手機的想法（缺點）寫在第一段，第二段則寫自己的想法（使用手機的優點），最後再以每件事情都有他的優缺點做總結，就不會有重複的狀況。
2. 在陳述使用手機的優點的部分，論點有點薄弱，可以再多想幾個例子，和缺點做平衡。
3. 寫作文時盡量不要以you作為開頭句，因為要想閱卷的是老師，若直接跟老師說「你應該...」會太直接，可以改成we會比較好。
希望有幫助到你，如果有問題可以提出喔！有看到就會回覆~
