寫完的作文 請高手多多指導錯誤的地方！拜託了拜託了🙏
In the 1960s, American pop music brought a fusion of radically different geographic and cultural influences. It was mainly caused by two reasons. First, the influence of religion and mysticism which came from the Eastern made popular such instruments like the tabla and sitar. Another reason is that a Caribbean was influenced by southern in origin. And he was branching into such forms as reggae and calypso, with their steel drums and marimbas. But the most important influence on pop music may be the folk music at the time because of its simple melodies and melodramatic lyrics which came from the West, particularly from Britain and the American Midwest.
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我也不很確定我的看法對不對 但是我個人覺得有兩個地方有問題
第一個是. And he was branching into such...
我覺得. And 這樣寫不太好
and通常不會在句首 他通常會在句中做連接詞用 他是對等連接詞 連接兩個詞性相同的東西
那句的意思我也不太清楚 主詞是he？
改成其他的連接詞或是副詞比較好 Meanwhile, Consequently, Also, ... 根據你的文意用運用吧
第二個問題也是. But...
but印象中也不會放在句首
你可以改成 However, Nevertheless, While, ... 一樣是根據你的文意去變換
其他的請其他英文大師來看吧 我講這些是我覺得有點問題的部分
這個算是改寫 所以沒有 對不起😭😭