Question

奧利多

請問大家此篇英文作文
有哪些部分需改進🙇🏻‍♀️

說明:1. 依提示寫一篇英文作文 2. 文長約120 至150 個單詞(words)。
提示:即將成為大學新鮮人的你(妳),除了在知識的追求上必須更上一層樓,在生
活能力的培養上必須更獨立自主,也必須對國家社會多一份使命感。請你
(妳)以個人的觀察提出你(妳)認為臺灣目前最需要提升或改善的層面為
二
何?
hobune
oglum

As
a freshman in the future. I have to pay more
u need to
attention to notice the Society. In addition, We also develope
our abilities to deal with problems. These years, I occured
an important issue that was about' birth rate. Because,
the birth rate
was declined in Taiwan. We have to
seriously take this issue.
This issue make a huge impact on us. For instance,
it will effect our economy and education, competition
and so on. There fore, we must urge the authority to.
promote the welfare to boost the birth rate and provide
the allowance to new parents. In this way, we can
make this society
better.
I will

英文作文

Answer 1

✨ 最佳解答 ✨

chou014

pay attention就有“加以注意”的意思了，不用特別補notice。第二句In addition是逗號，所以後面的we要小寫，另外發展是develop。處理問題我會傾斜改寫成複合字，the problem-solving ability。

chou014

*傾向
另外我覺得第一句可以考慮改成現在完成進行式，表現出你一直都有在關注社會議題這樣

chou014

occurred是發生，如果是要用發現這個問題的話可以用notice。was declined可以改成主動的dropped，算是語氣上的差異，看個人選擇。seriously通常會放在句尾，認真看待某事，take sth seriously這樣。

整個第一段的話我大概會寫成這樣
I have been paying attention to the social issues, since I will be a freshman in a not far future. Besides, I am working hard to improve my problem-solving skill. These years, I noticed a crucial issue about the declining birth rate. Because the birth rate keep dropping in Taiwan, we should take it seriously.

chou014

第二段的部分，某件事造成衝擊應該是have an impact on sth。effect是名詞，動詞要用affect，生育津貼就寫birth allowance也可以。我的話會考慮把促進生育率這段切成下一句，一樣個人選擇。

大概寫成這樣
This issue will surely have an impact on our daily lives. For instance, it will affect our economy, education, and so on. Therefore, we must urge the authority to promote welfare and provide birth allowance to new parents. In this way, we can boost the birth rate and thus make this society better.

奧利多

謝謝你🥰