Question

あ

英検準1級writingです。
どなたか採点して頂けますか？
分かりにくい所があれば遠慮なく言ってください。

177/25
Do you think that the government should use social media
to make decisions?
I disagree that government should use social media.
to make decisions.
First,
I think there
value of determining
are
politic things by communicating each politicians.
Choosing option of solution online may cause
them
as they can touch.
to fail their decision.
screen easily to vote.
be critical trouble of domestics.
TS becoming worse economies.
Second,
This accident would
One of the trouble
to utilize social media would be dread
to flood confident information of nations
These informations can contain about civil's.
WIf civils information revealed, it is said
that civil's safe wouldn't be protected by their
countries.
Therefore, some countries is about to introduce
social media should consider that it may
pose negative effect
on
their countries circumstance.
./10

Answer 1

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まかろんししょう

日本語で、要点だけでもください。
とりあえず気づいたところはまた後ほど指摘します。

あ

分かりました！

政治的内容の決定に反対
理由1：政治的内容は政治家が直接コミュニケーションを取ることで決定するほうが価値があるから。
理由2：ソーシャルメディアを使うということはコンピュータやスマホを使うと考えられるから、誤って機密情報（国民の情報など）が流出させてしまう可能性があるから。

まかろんししょう

I think that government shouldn't use social media to make decisions.
First, I think communicating with politicians is better than Choosing options of solution online. It is very dangerous to use social media to make decisions. It has many false information, so politicians might make false decision. It would be critical troubles such as becoming worse economics.
Second, to utilize social medea might drain national information. If confidential information are revealed, they can’t protect by treat.
Therefore, to introduce social media should consider that may cause（←?）negative effect on their countrie’s circumstance.
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