Question

ゆる

1枚目の写真のTask1を参考に Task2でメールの返信を考える問題です🙇‍♀️
2枚目に私が書いたものがあるので文法や単語ミスがないか添削してほしいです
3枚目に評価する時に先生がよく見てるところを貼ってるので参考にしていただけると幸いです
すみませんがよろしくお願いします🙇‍♀️

1
トレーナー
広告
You are a trainer. Read the ad and think about how you can help Dan. Write some notes on the right.
WANTED: Personal Trainer
I'm looking for someone to help me
lose weight. I also want to get back (46)
in shape again, I'm so busy that I
can't make time for exercise. I haven't
exercised in a few years and I'm really
packing on the pounds. I need somebody
to motivate me. Do you have any
advice? The job is part-time, three days
a week. You can contact me by e-mail
at [e-mail]. I'm looking
forward to hearing from you!
Dan
I
Why are you the best?
I've been a trainer for 5 years
and am familiar with diets.
How will you change his diet and exercise
program?
e
eat food that are high in
protein.
• walk (0 minutes every day
on an empty stomach
Avoid fried food
eat something that fills you up
腹もらいいもの
Task 2
Reply to Dan's ad (80-120 words). Include some of the words and phrases below.
concentrate on nutrition / go on a diet / low in fat / small portions / current weight / get daily exercise/
work out at home/accompany / take a run in the park

Date
Unit 3
Hi Dan, I'm (
), and I've been a personal trainer for (5) years.
I saw your ad, and I think I can help you.
I will concentrate on nutrition to help you manage your wight. You'll
need to go on a diet. You should eat low-fat foods like fish. totu and
beans. In addition, I want You to make sure to eat three proper meals
every day. By the way, what is your current weight? I will encourage you to
get regular exercise. You can work out at home, and I will go with for a walk
in the park twice a week.
what times are you free during the week? Do you have any other health problems?
I hope this helps. When would you like to start?
Yours, C
2.

Tips for better writing
1. 複文を避ける
2. 省略形を使わない
3. 否定ではなくI disagree with the idea.
I think driving is not a good idea...
4. 短文で書きながら 「接続詞」 「スピーチマーカー」を使う
(I don't think driving is a good idea...)
5. 受動態を避ける
6. 関係詞の使用は最小限にとどめる
7. シンプルに
8. 同じ単語の繰り返しを避ける