Question

らりるれろ

添削お願いしたいです！

These days, photos posted online sometimes cause trouble. Do you think the number of such troubles will increase in the future?

I think the number of such trouble will increase in the future. I have two reasons why I this so.
First, it is not good for safety.
For example, many people that using online can watch it, and as a result, people that posted online may not protect their very important information.
Second, it hurt someone.
This is because people post photos that do not have moral.
For these reason that I mentioned, I believe the number of such trouble will increase in the future.

英検 英検2級 英作文

Answer 1

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dk_17

以下に、添削した箇所とその理由を説明します。

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**1. "such trouble" → "such troubles"**
修正: **"I think the number of such trouble will increase"** → **"I think the number of such troubles will increase"**
理由: "trouble" は通常不可算名詞ですが、ここでは具体的な事例が複数想定されるため "troubles" のほうが適切。

**2. "why I this so" → "to support my opinion"**
修正: **"I have two reasons why I this so."** → **"I have two reasons to support my opinion."**
理由: 文法的な誤り（"why I this so" は不自然）。"to support my opinion" にすると意味が明確になる

**3. "many people that using online" → "many people who use the internet"**
修正: **"many people that using online can watch it"** → **"many people who use the internet can see the photos"**
理由: "that using online" は誤り。"who use the internet" のほうが正しい文法構造。

**5. "people that posted online" → "those who post them"**
修正: **"people that posted online may not protect their very important information"** → **"those who post them may fail to protect important personal information"**
理由: "people that posted online" は不自然。"those who post them" で、写真を投稿する人を明確化。

**6. "Second, it hurt someone." → "Second, it can hurt others."**
修正: **"Second, it hurt someone."** → **"Second, it can hurt others."**
理由: "hurt someone" だと不特定多数への影響がわかりにくい。"hurt others" のほうが汎用性が高い。

**7. "people post photos that do not have moral" → "people post photos without considering ethical or moral standards"**
修正: **"people post photos that do not have moral."** → **"people post photos without considering ethical or moral standards."**
理由: "photos that do not have moral" は意味が不明瞭。"without considering ethical or moral standards" のほうが正確。

**8. "For these reason that I mentioned" → "For these reasons"**
修正: **"For these reason that I mentioned, I believe..."** → **"For these reasons, I believe..."**
理由: "reason" は単数になっているが、複数の理由を述べているので "reasons" にする。また "that I mentioned" は不要。

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あくまで個人的な見方による添削なので少しの参考程度にしてください。

TTT

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らりるれろ

ありがとうございます！！