Question

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英検準2級ライティング

Q.Do you think it is good for people to use smartphones while studying?
に対してこの答えにしたのですが、直すべき点を教えてください！😭

Yes, I think it is good for people to use smartphones
while studying.
First, I can research on Internet when I don't know
words. It is very useful.
Second, I'm able to listening to favorite music. I'll feel
good, and have energy.
Thus, I think people use smartphones while studying
is good.