Question

げすと

英検準一級の英作文の添削をお願いします。見にくいところがあれば言ってください。

Date
No.
Topic: These days
more peple will do so in the' tuture?
Some pegple buy things. on the Intermat.Do
you
think
I think that motre people will buy things .
on the Internet
1r
T have two reasons to support my opinion in tenms of
price
|2
and technolgy
2
Fist, we can buy things on the Intermet that is cheaper
than buying them at shops, Some Intemet shops' deliver fee
10
is free. It is goのd tor us to get a good deal of products.
14
Also, peaple can keep thair rmoney.
6
Second, peaple do nat have to go shopping. at shops.
1o
f there are people who are buy to buy things what they wast,
15
they con buy them any winere using, their internet or smarphene
10
I think eldery pegple get products eaily.
For these reasens, buying things
on the Internet will be
15
more necesiory in the future
(121uerds)
ニ

Answer 1

✨ Jawaban Terbaik ✨

Akihiro

一個目の理由
First, products that you can buy on the Internet are more inexpensive (less expensive) than those you can buy at real shops.
(関係代名詞の先行句が複数なのにisになってます。後cheapには安っぽいという悪い意味が伴います!inexpensiveのほうが良いかと思います)

Also, people can save money→自明だなと感じます。

２個目の理由
Second, online shopping allows you to save time, which you have to spend if you visit real shops.　店に行く必要がなくてどうなるのかを書いたほうがいいです！

後基本１パラグラフ１アイディアですので、elderly peopleの下りは不自然かもしれません。

頑張ってください！！！

げすと

添削ありがとうございます。頑張ります！